I must admit, however, that Tuesday was quite a bad day for me, and for the first time in about 3 years, I was quite close to tears as a result. It started on Monday night, when Katherine accidentally left David's new Nintendo DS at the activity center on Camp Red Cloud. We realized she forgot it before we left post, but the manager locked-up and left right behind us, and we couldn't get back in to retrieve the gadget. We even tried going to the MPs desk at the front gate, but they couldn't help us. So, we headed home, double-checked all the bags we had with us to no avail, and then prayed that it would still be there in the morning. I had a soldier friend of ours call the activity center first thing in the morning, and they said it wasn't there. Knowing that we left it there the night before, and we were the last ones to leave, our soldier friend and I decided to go look for it ourselves. We figuratively tore the place apart, looking under couches, tables, and chairs, and even going so far as to look under all the cushions, too. We also checked the bathrooms, and all the trash cans...nothing. It was nagging at me that we *KNEW* that it was left in there, and the guy running the place was acting suspicious. He couldn't recall how many people had been in there in the less than 2 hours they had been open, kept making unsolicited statements like, "oh, those are so popular and expensive", and generally just sent the vibe that he was hiding something. So, I questioned him for quite some time, an event that neither him nor I enjoyed. Finally, I left rather convinced that he at least knew who had taken the DS, if he had not taken it himself, but having no way to prove my theory, I chalked it up as a loss.
Then, a couple hours later, Pastor went to check the bank to see if the wire had come through, and it hadn't. This one kind of hit me hard, especially since I was already in a foul mood as a result of the morning's proceedings. I was expecting it to be there and ready to go, and it just wasn't. ugh...
Then, as I was leaving school for the day at 4pm, I stopped by the office to see what my end-of-the-year paychecks were going to look like. End-of-the-year paychecks include pay-outs of unused sick-days, unused personal days, and our paychecks covering the summer months. I was expecting to be free and clear by about $4,000, but I found out that I was mistaken. Tomorrow, I'll be getting my June paycheck of about $1500, and then, next week on the 2nd, I'll get my July paycheck of about $1500 and the pay-out of my sick days and so forth which will only be about $400. I was mistaken about where the money for our plane tickets was coming from, and I was expecting much more than just $400. You may be thinking that all those figures added together still come pretty close to $4000, but the thing is, that's the amount I was expecting to have in my pocket while boarding the plane on June 30th. Instead, that's the amount I have a month before I'm boarding that plane, and before a month's worth of bills. I just took the paper, and walked home. This was the moment that I was on the verge of tears. I felt like my chest had been ripped open by some monstrous beast who was now wringing my lungs in its massive hands.
I went home, opened the door, left my shoes there, walked directly to the bedroom, and laid down. It's not that I didn't want to talk to anyone, I felt like I couldn't without losing it, and that just wouldn't have been fair for my family. I laid there, hoping that I wouldn't start crying, and finally drifted off to sleep. I woke-up about an hour and a half later feeling much better. It's almost as if God put me to sleep (not fatally, of course), so that my mind would rest. The foreboding pressure that I had felt all day was gone. Thinking about the days events still brought feelings of uneasiness, but nothing like what I had experienced earlier in the day.
So, where did I go wrong on Tuesday? Or was this "simply" a barrage of attacks by the evil one and his forces? I've not come to a conclusion just yet, but I am leaning towards the latter, rather than the former. But as I've been reflecting on Tuesday's events, some verses have been brought back to the forefront of my mind, and I'd like to share them with you.
Concerning the misplaced DS, Matthew 6:19-20 says, "Do not lay up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy and where thieves break in and steal; but lay up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where neither moth nor rust destroys and where thieves do not break in and steal." Yeah, yeah...I know...such an elementary verse and concept for someone going to be an assistant pastor, right? Well, I don't know about you, but I am constantly in need of spiritual reminders, and I am constantly focusing on my surroundings and situations, rather than He who began a good work in me (Phil. 1:6). And as I thought about these verses, more popped up.
Concerning the wire transfer not showing up when I (!!!) expected it, Matthew 8:25-26 says this, "The disciples went and woke him, saying, 'Lord, save us! We're going to drown!' He replied, 'You of little faith, why are you so afraid?' Then he got up and rebuked the winds and the waves, and it was completely calm." There I was in my little ship on the tumultuous seas, pacing back and forth, while Christ was calmly sleeping. Here's something to think about: the disciples thought that they, for some reason, needed to let their omniscient Lord know what was going on. See, Christ wasn't freaking out, so that should've told the disciples that they didn't need to be freaking out. The funny thing about this, though, is that Christ NEVER freaks out. He is always in control, and since He has promised to never leave us nor forsake us (Hebrews 13:5), we should follow suit. And really, my feelings about the end-of-the-year paychecks falls in line here, too. As I look back at all the things God has provided for our family already, how can I legitimately raise any plausible concerns for the future? Will there be rough spots?...probably. Will the road always be comfortable?...probably not. Either way, though, my God will still be at the helm and in control of everything...or He may be in the back of the boat at peaceful rest. My job as a Christian, in both circumstances, is to only keep my eyes on Him, and follow His guidance. Easily said, but usually done in difficulty, if done at all.
In short, rest assured, God is continuing to provide in His timing. Please PRAY for us as tonight is the last night before the movers come. PRAY that we will have everything organized well and ready to go. Continue also to PRAY for the housing situation in Martinez. PRAY that God will lead Pastor Rushing and others to the perfect place for my family and I.
In His Service,
Sam.
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