For the final project in my high school computer class, the students are tasked with constructing a 15-20 slide PowerPoint presentation on a Bible character of their choice. I have one student doing a presentation on Moses, another doing the Apostle Paul, another doing Noah, and finally another student is doing David. On Wednesday, we will begin listening to their actual presentations and I'm looking forward to hearing what they've come up with during their research time.
For the final project in my Digital Imaging class, the students are tasked with building a promotional and informational website on a new summer blockbuster. They are required to draw upon every aspect of website construction which they have learned throughout the year, using the Macromedia Dreamweaver, Flash, and Fireworks programs. It will be fun to see how well they are able to put their ideas and capabilities together.
The movers are coming THIS FRIDAY!! It's still hard to believe that we are leaving Korea. We've been in country for 7.5 years now, and it still feels like we've only just begun. But God has different plans for our family, now, and we are totally excited to see what is in store.
I can't help but reflect on our last seven years, though. Numerous questions flood my mind. Have we done a good job? Were we effective servants in the ministries of which we took part? Have we had a positive impact on others? Will we be missed?... And all of these questions, while I suppose they do have some significance and/or relevance, are focused on the wrong thing...us, or rather more pointedly, me. While it is within our nature to wonder if we have done a good job and to search for some kind of reassurance, the truth is that there will be times that knowing if we've done a good job or finding that reassurance from a human source will not be possible. I think God does that on purpose so that we will be forced to look to Him to find our peace and reassurance (Hebrews 12:2). The simple fact that He is still at work in your life should be enough reassurance, and the evidence of His handiwork should be an eternal source of peace. But often, it seems as though it isn't. If we were all painfully honest with ourselves, we would all have to come to the same conclusion that *sometimes* we want that reassurance from our peers and/or authorities, and their reassurances are the only ones that matter at that particular moment. It is an unfortunate and shameful thing that we so often shun the very love, compassion, trust, and mercy that empowered us to do the work in the first place, in leiu of the temporal gratification that comes from peer or authority approval.
I am reminded of a conversation that I had with one of my soccer players at the conclusion of this year's season. He came to me after the tournament's award ceremony had concluded, and asked, "Coach, why didn't I get any awards?" Now, you might be thinking, "Well, he must've been a bencher who hardly ever played." But the opposite is actually the case. This is a player who had played in all of our games, and started most of them. He was second in most goals scored for our team, and he had a good number of assists, too. And here he was, asking me, "Coach, why didn't I get any awards?" My heart sank with the weight of choosing the right words to say. It would've been easy to simply say, "Suck it up, trooper! There's always next year!" But I knew that wouldn't help at all. In light of how I've been feeling the past few months concerning this very issue, I knew that would've thrown him off the deep end. So, I looked him in the eye, and told him, "You've been one of the most reliable players on this team, and we couldn't have done what we did without you. We are going to recognize your contribution to the team at another time, but remember this, you should play the game because you love playing the game, not for awards." I went on to tell him that I understood what he was feeling, and that I knew that awards were always a good thing to get, but if we always play for awards, what happens when we don't get them? Well, it turns out that he was awarded the Most Improved Player award at our school's athletic banquet, and he also recieved a varsity letter as a freshman.
Now I say all of that to simply say this: In all your serving, striving, and ministering, make sure that you are doing those things for the right reason. It isn't necessarily wrong, per se, to desire peer and/or authority approval. But what do you do when you feel like you've done the best you possibly could've done, and your peers and authorities are silent, and all you have is a loving Savior standing in front of you with open arms saying, "Well done!" Will that be enough for you? I pray that it will be, and that it is.
Just like I told my soccer player, we shouldn't be running this race for the awards at the end, although that is a promise God has given us. And what a joy it will be to recieve that crown only to lay it back down at Jesus' feet in recognition of His being the only one worthy of such an award! We should rather run this race with the power and ability that comes from a love for God which was fostered by His love for us. We should desire to seek His pleasure in all that we say and do, not our own. And as I sit here and write these things, I know them to be so true, and I still find them to be so difficult to practice. And then I am brought to a verse that follows some of the most quoted verses in Scripture, Hebrews 12:3, "For consider him that endured such contradiction of sinners against himself, lest ye be wearied and faint in your minds." It's so tiring, when we feel unappreciated, isn't it? We need to realize though, that the only reason we feel unappreciated is because we are looking in the wrong place for that appreciation.
In Youth Sunday School we've been going through Psalm 119 verse by verse. If you want a good litmus test for how you are doing spiritually, compare your own spiritual life to that of the psalmist in Psalm 119, who writes this in verses 41-48, "Let thy mercies come also unto me, O LORD, even thy salvation, according to thy word. So shall I have wherewith to answer him that reproacheth me: for I trust in thy word. And take not the word of truth utterly out of my mouth; for I have hoped in thy judgments. So shall I keep thy law continually for ever and ever. And I will walk at liberty: for I seek thy precepts. I will speak of thy testimonies also before kings, and will not be ashamed. And I will delight myself in thy commandments, which I have loved. My hands also will I lift up unto thy commandments, which I have loved; and I will meditate in thy statutes." You see, if we were truly trusting and hoping in God's Word, and seeking after it, and delighting ourselves in it, we wouldn't fall to the desire for peer and/or authority approval because we would be consumed with the desire for God's approval alone. My prayer is that we will endeavor to reach the place in which we are closely aligned to the words found in Psalm 119:41-48.
By way of update, the treasurer of Bethany Baptist wired the money on Friday. Unfortunately, with today being Memorial Day, the bank on post is closed, and we have no way of checking to make sure that the wire went through safely until tomorrow. My pastor here said today that he will check first thing tomorrow. We are trusting that all is well, and that the transaction has been completed with no problems. It never hurts to PRAY towards that end, though.
Also continue to PRAY that Dulcy and I will be able to get everything in line and ready for the movers visit this Friday. Since I am at school all day, this is more of a request for Dulcy's sake than my own. She has given me responsibilities, but for the most part she has been tasked with getting things ready to go. The movers will be packing everything for us, but we are setting things apart that are not going to be shipped. So, simply PRAY that everything will come together in due fashion.
That's about it for now, I think. Thank you all again for all your prayers and support.
In His Service,
Sam, Dulcy, Michael, David, and Katherine Healey.
Mark 10:45
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